Sitting here wandering what to write...

I sat here and listened to "Blessed Soul" song "Nora" ( That was my moms name and that song gets to me everytime I hear it)... I will see her again someday!! I miss her terribly and I know my dad does too.. he worries me all the time... hes not wanting to celebrate any holidays this year. He didn't show up to either one of my kids birthday parties, didn't celebrate Thanksgiving with his family, and it looks like Christmas is going to be the same. It breaks my heart that he doesn't make an effort to see my kids. Yes, I know they can get on his nerves real quick , but gosh there kids and would love to see him all the time. When mom was alive they would go and stay all night with them, but that stopped when she passed. Except for the time that I had to pratically live with him after he had his horsing accident and had his spleen removed. Christmas is the Holiday that it breaks my heart to celebrate without mom being my birthday and all. When I hit the 30 mark it hurt me real bad that she was not here to celebrate it with me. Soon I will be 32 and it still hurts to know that she won't be here, but I know she is watching over my family everyday. I have 2 wonderful Angels watching over my family. I just feel like I am being pushed out of my dad's life , he seems like he is trying to push both my brother and I out of his life. I don't want to lose a father too. No, my dad and I never did get along very well. He's my dad and I love him so much!